How often have you thought…when this happens, or I buy this,"I will be happy".
We’ve all read about how things or people don’t make us happy but I for one know that, however many times I read this, I still manage to pull the wool over my eyes one more time!
For example, recently my husband and I decided to buy a netbook. Now these days I’m pretty self sufficient and don’t want a lot, although my new found geek does lust after technology (particularly the apple mac 
), suffice to say I was pretty happy to get this. But a few days down the line, with installation problems galore, the shine had come off. We have since sorted these problems, but there was a great lesson in there. Things don’t make you happy!
Another reminder has been in being offered and accepting a new job this week. I’ve been looking for a new job for nearly a year now and I am really happy that I have got one, and this one in particular. It is exactly where I wanted to work and opens up lots of possibilities around my mentoring and coaching work. I am really happy….now….but it took a few days to get there. I just wasn’t as happy as I imagined I would be.
Now before you think, maybe she’s just hard to please or never happy (which may be the case! 
), I do think this is a common malaise. We convince ourselves that when this or that happens, things will be better. However enlightened we think we are, it’s easy to fall into that trap! When we meet "the one", or achieve that goal, life will be better.
Just another reminder, the present moment is all we have.
So, this week, I'm working on being grateful for what I have (my new netbook and job, as well as many other blessings) and reminding myself that happiness isn't dependant on anything 'out there'. I have all I need to be happy right now. I just need to keep on remembering it!
How do you remind yourself that happiness isn't 'out there', but here in the present moment?
First of all, I think this situation is probably more common than you think? I order a book online and get it and read it and think, meh, so so.
Seth Godin says that most the enjoyment people get from products is in the expectation they have before they get them.
Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..Lifestyle Design – Three Ways To Know You’re Ready!
Hey Jen,
Funny confluence - I'm working on gratitude too right now. Every day, whenever I've remembered, I've started being grateful for everything I can think of, especially things in the present moment (for instance, instead of being grateful for time I spend with my girlfriend, I'd be grateful for the connection I can feel with her right now).
Eventually you get being grateful for and enjoying even very small things like the feeling of your breath in your chest or the tingling in your lips... you get that those are the most important things, because they are now.
Yesterday, in fact, I thought to be grateful for the incredible day I'd spent with my lady. And I was... but I realised that no matter how dazzlingly wonderful it was, the fact that it was in the past made it somewhat irrelevant. Thinking back, I could have been grateful for the lingering endorfins or for the deepened feeling of connection. Maybe even the pleasure of remembering. But you can't enjoy the past. I don't know if that's harsh, but it felt like a pretty liberating realisation somehow. I should stop struggling to hold onto pleasure - but there's more than enough here and now anyway.
I like your blog, I think I'll RSS you! By the way, I kind of like the shortness and sweetness of the article... Sometimes you feel overwhelmed when there's a lot to read, even if it's good stuff!
Andrew
Andrew´s last blog ..Humbleness in the search for truth
Hey Jen,
Happiness is an illusive state. You buy something, or you achieve something, and it may make you happy, but only for a while. Eventually, you mind gets used to it and it just become the norm. Chasing stuff is just a way to reach temporary and often very short states of happiness in my perspective. Some people are OK with that, others want more.
Eduard
Ideas With A Kick´s last blog ..How to avoid the holiday madness and enjoy yourself
Being happy with the exact moment you are in right now is so important. I've been doing a lot of reading lately on Taoism, and also the more well known Taoist texts. This philosophy is basically centered around the idea of living in the moment and it's been a really eye opening experience looking into it. That's what this post reminded me of. Here's to being happy, right now!
Nate´s last blog ..travel goals and Frequent Flyer Master review
@Gordie Rogers,
Good point Gordie - I think expectation is often the most fun part of the process of receiving something!
@Andrew,
thanks for the great comment. Great insights about living in the present moment especially the realisation that we don't need to hold on to pleasurable moments, I do that too, but as you point out there is no lack in the present moment.
Hey Andrew!
Thanks you for your kind feedback about my blog, I am glad you are enjoying it and good to know you liked the shorter style article too. I am playing with different styles, but I know what you mean, sometimes there is just too much awesome stuff to read on the web!
@Ideas With A Kick,
Very true Eduard.
@Nate, Hey Nate!
Absolutely! Interesting what you say about Taoism, I will have a look into that too.
I'm starting to implement a daily mindfulness practice. I think too often I'm caught up in my mind.
I agree with this post 100%. A new job, a new city, a new vacation, a new computer....well, I could go on forever, are not going to make you happy in the long term. Also, I think each person has a definition for what happiness really is to them, but I think the large majority would agree that always chasing after someone or something is not going to bring it. Sometimes it just takes some life experience to figure this out.
Nate´s last blog ..Fearless Doing: Mindfulness Practice
@Nate,
Hey Nate!
great points - it's funny, I feel like I've known it for a long time (that external things don't make you happy), but continously forget and have to remind myself! As you mention, maybe life experience gradually drums it in!
Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Jen,
First of all, I want to talk to you about the NetBook. I have been contemplating a NetBook purchase and really want to get another opinion. How do I remind myself that happiness isn't out there? I look around. I smell the coffee. I am lucky in that I am surrounded by people I love and who love me. I also have a great job for a company that is surprisingly excelling in this bad economy. Then I think of my brother who is an attorney and has been out of work for the past 8 months. It doesn't take too much to think of the good things that I have in life to be happy.
Jen, thanks for reminding me of that...
Best,
Bob
Bob Bessette´s last blog ..10 Notable Losses in 2009.
Hey Bob!
The netbook is fine now - just some hardware installation problems. Otherwise I would say it does what it says on the tin - is great for web stuff, lightweight, easy to carry etc.
Great to hear what you are grateful for - I could really feel your gratefulness coming off the page!:)
Hey, Jen, thought provoking post - especially at this time of year!!
I think our society encourages us to look outside ourselves for things that will make us happy. Your post reminds us that, in fact, happiness is a state we can create for ourselves. It's about realising that we have that power and that choice.
Thank you!
Christine´s last blog ..How to kick workplace stress in the butt: part two
Happiness, I believe, cannot be a permanent state. The very fabric of happiness is weaved through disappointments and suffering; just as success cannot be without failure.
@Christine,
I think you are right, I know deep down it's only me that has that power to make me happy, but as you say society does send us messages that 'something' will make us happy, whether it's a a new perfume or a new job. It's good to keep reminding ourselves this isn't true. Blogging is a great way for me, refreshing to connect with like minded people. 
Hey Christine
Yes, it is the time of year when it is a consumer fest!
@Walter, Heya Walter. Great point! I have thought about doing another post in the future distinguishing happiness and it's changing nature with a deeper feeling of contentment.
Thanks for stopping by.
Jen
Hey Jen-
My favorite definition of happiness is: "Not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else."
I think living in a society of mass consumption clearly makes happiness a struggle for a lot of people - how can someone live in and enjoy the moment when life seems to require a constant effort to keep up with everyone else? How do we do this? By buying more stuff and believing that happiness can be achieved without changing our state of mind. Like you said, you already have all you need to be happy, its just a matter of clearing the mind so that you can concentrate long enough on that fact to make it reality.
I'm actually reading "The Geography of Happiness" right now, it offers some interesting insights into what truly makes people happy around the world.
Earl´s last blog ..From Worthless Bum to Long-Jump Champion
@Earl,
Hey Earl!
Great comment, you've hit the nail on the head! It's funny, I wouldn't consider myself a materialistic person, and it surprises me how I still think this way sometimes...or maybe I am just becoming more aware of these thoughts when they pop into my head! As you said, it is really about changing our state of mind.
"The Geography of Happiness" sounds interesting, I'll check that out.
Thanks Earl! Great to see you here.