I shared last week that I had been feeling overwhelmed with blogging recently. Sharing this here and taking a step back has enabled me to regain some balance and consequently I have had a more productive and relaxed week than I have had in a long time. Whilst this topic has been on my mind I thought it would be a good time to look at how we can deal with overwhelm in any area of our life:
Recognise you are feeling overwhelmed
The first step to learning to deal with overwhelm is recognising that you are overwhelmed. If you are feeling anxious or stressed, take time to listen to your feelings and work out what is going on. You will be able to deal with it more effectively if you know what you are dealing with.
Ask for help
One of the biggest mistakes I make in this area and that I also see other people making is trying to do everything ourselves. I don’t know why this is, but many of us have a tendency to want to do everything ourselves and not ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Actually, very often other people want to help us. Don’t be afraid to let people know what’s going on for you and how you are feeling. By getting other people involved you give them the opportunity to make a difference. Sometimes, you are the only person that can do a job but you can still reach out. Just talking things through can make a big difference and help you to clarify your priorities and the cause of your overwhelm. Everyone’s comments on last weeks post helped me realise I was not alone in my feelings which consequently helped me feel much better about the situation.
Prioritise
Often when I am overwhelmed it is because I have lost clarity with what needs to be done and when. For example up till last week I was reading more and more blogs with advice on how to make my blog more successful, but it was making me feel like I should be doing a lot more than I was doing. I took the time to sit down and prioritise. Doing this has meant I could get really clear about what I wanted to do and what I could achieve. Life changes all the time so we may need to do this regularly to juggle changing priorities.
Make a plan
Having a plan makes the world of difference, I am not a ‘natural planner’ (if there is such a thing 
) but planning helps get things down on paper and out of my head. Be realistic about what you can get done. There is no point putting too much down and then feeling bad when you can’t complete it all. Your plan should help you feel empowered. I write down actions for each day of the week on the preceding Sunday evening, taking into account all my commitments. By having a plan you can also get closure on each week by assessing your progress and making adjustments as necessary.
Learn to say no
I think this is one of the most important things we can learn to do and a big help in preventing overwhelm! Learn to exercise your ‘no’ muscle. I think for many of us there can be some guilt or negative associations around saying no. In order to truly be in charge of creating our lives we need to move past this and be able to be clear about what we want and what we don’t want to do. I used to hate saying no to people, but at some point I realised I was spending more and more of my time doing things I didn’t want to do, sometimes not being able to do everything I had promised and even feeling resentful about it. I gradually realised that this situation was all down to me. No-one else was saying ‘yes’ for me … I was the one saying yes. I am learning that people are usually fine if you say no to their request as long as you are clear with them. Start practicing saying no to smaller things to start with and soon you will build up your confidence in this area. Obviously we don’t want to say no to everything that comes our way and be closed to opportunities, but it is healthy to protect our time and be clear that we are happy with what we are committing to. Life is too short to be doing things we don’t really want to do on a continual basis.
Remove unnecessary tasks
One of the things I personally have been finding overwhelming recently is the alerts on my phone! I have a blackberry. It’s really great and helps me stay in touch with my blog comments, twitter etc. However, when I first started blogging I signed up to loads of blogs via email so I could check them on my phone. As I have push email set up on my phone all my emails come straight though to my phones inbox. Couple that with the notifications I was getting when I subscribed to comments on a post and my phone was flashing all the time! I have recently started subscribing to the blogs I read via RSS instead and using Netvibes to manage this. I am finding that a much easier way to read my RSS feeds. I have also spent the last few weeks removing all the email subscriptions from my phone and now I am not subscribing to comments on posts as a rule. I can always go back and check the site myself if I really want to. Removing these unnecessary distractions and being smarter about how I work has helped no end. I am back in love with my phone (yes I am a geek! 
). I know when an email comes through, it is usually from a ‘real’ person and I can concentrate on reading and responding to my RSS feeds properly when I log on to my laptop now.
This is an example from my own life, but it applies to all areas of life. Often we get used to doing things a certain way, even if it is not the most efficient way (and like my example, we are often the ones that set it up that way!) Taking the time to review what you do in your day to day life can help shine a light on your actions and find new and better ways to proceed. After all, there is no point making life harder for ourselves is there?
Remind yourself of the bigger picture
Why are you doing the things you are doing? I was getting bogged down in information and feeling overloaded which meant that I lost sight of why I was doing these things. Once I dealt with why I was feeling overwhelmed and took actions to rectify it I could start to remind myself why I do the things I do. I love blogging and it is a way to express myself to the world and hopefully make a difference to other people. Reminding yourself of why you do the things you do, can help get back in touch with what matters to you.
Stay healthy
One of the most effective ways of dealing with stress is to exercise and stay healthy. Often at the time that we most need to exercise (when we are stressed and overwhelmed) exercise can go by the wayside. Commit to staying healthy. I like to exercise by running and I try and ensure I run every two days. I have made sure that I have run regularly the last few weeks and it has been a great way to switch off, raise my endorphins and deal with the feelings of overwhelm in a positive way.
Know that things will work out
I was reminded of the quote “this too shall pass” the other day. Nothing stays the same forever. Your feelings of overwhelm will pass.
These are some of the ways I have learnt to deal with overwhelm. Id love to hear how you deal with it…
Hi Jen, I'm not glad that you've been feeling overwhelmed, but I am glad to know I'm not alone!
I've found it really helpful to get things down on paper. As soon as I start trying to remember stuff, I start to feel overwhelmed. Using a calendar is great (then I can keep on top of things that have a deadline), and I carry around a notepad and pen to write down other things I need to remember. Then I can prioritise, and work out a list of things to do - and the very best thing about that is the sense of satisfaction I get from ticking things off. I think satisfaction is the antidote for overwhelm...
Hi Topi!
Lovely to see you here. I know, it is reassuring to know you are not the only one feeling a certain way isn't it? I felt much better after reading the reactions to my post too.
Paper and pen are brilliant aren't they? I have started planning much more. It is a simple system but works and as you said the satisfaction of ticking things off the list helps spur you on!
Thanks again
Jen
Ah, YES. I just had this conversation the other day. It's so hard when you've got so many people demanding your time, as well, and it eventually becomes an issue of capacity. Sometimes, you just don't have it to give. And we've got to remember that, and recognize it as a valid reason. I just don't have it to give, brotha!
Good insight, Miss Jen!
Miss Ash!
Great point - I think it's about recognising our own limits and not expecting to be able to do and be everything everyone wants us to be.
Thanks as always !
Jen
Thanks for sharing all of this, Jen. I was actually feeling quite overwhelmed myself yesterday, having made the mistake of spending the morning trying to catch up on blogging stuff I'd missed from last week. By lunchtime I was miserable with what felt like a mountain ahead of me when my other half came home from his morning's sport. Lucky for me, he can spot when I've dropped into a less than brilliant place and suggested we go walking in the hills. Part of me wanted to cling onto feeling crap. But another voice said, "so what if the work you wanted to do doesn't get done. What's really important here?" So off I went to the hills. The rest of the day was tremendous as we went from a fabulous couple of hours walking to seeing Green Zone, which we then followed up with a Pizza.
Today the importance of the stuff that was overwhelming me yesterday has felt much less so and I've had a pretty focused day, getting through what I needed to. To your point, I've said "no" to things today that now seem trivial, and "yes" to things that matter.
Christine Livingston´s last blog ..Four Lessons on Game-Changing From The Scottish Rugby Team
Hi Christine!
Thanks for sharing this. it's horrid feeling like that isn't it? I love the internet but it can feel like an uphill battle to stay on top of things at times. It sounds like you did the right thing ... sounds like my kind of solution... a good walk, film and pizza!
It's funny how sometimes just a nights sleep between things can help get everything into perspective. I am glad you're feeling better now.
Jen x
Hey Jen,
I'm glad to hear that you took the time you needed to recharge and relax!
For me, prioritizing and learning to say no have been the biggest tools in helping me deal with overhwelm. Like you, I've read one too many articles on how to improve my blog. In addition to information overload, I felt like I had so much to do. After looking at things more carefully, I realized I should only have a few major priorities to work on a day.
Good suggestions Jen!
Ben Weston´s last blog ..The 2 Most Effective Visualization Techniques
Jen,
You legend (as Alex would say): are you a mind-reader?
I have been facing this exact same problem: I feel overwhelmed.
I have so much stuff to do and I frequently run out of time.
I find technology rather challenging to deal with. Can't keep up at all.
Even at the risk of sounding a bit arrogant, I am rather popular. Once upon a time, I was known to throw wild parties and dance the night away.
I was like a socialite and loved to entertain guests, but now I have decided to cut back and focus on my work and other life priorities.
So, I daily receive invitations to join social networking sites and so on. There are so many people out there who want to get to know me personally. So far, they only know me as a faceless on-line commentator, who never felt motivated enough to start his own blog.
I just have to say no. I am a late adopter and not too fond of technology anyway. I even gifted away my cell phone (mobile) to a friend. The more time I spend on technology, the more miserable I feel.
These days I feel I spend too much time on-line, so I am trying to cut back. I would rather be out and about in nature and doing wild things like trekking, walking, playing sports, etc. But that's just me.
I have had to turn so many invitations down because I felt really uncomfortable spending so much time on-line. I prefer the reality of our natural world--physical world--to "virtual reality" any time.
Whenever I feel cranky or low on energy, that's my body's signal. My body is sending me a message to get off my lazy behind and get some exercise. I feel peace of mind only when I am out and about in the world of nature: I am just designed like that. Everything else is more or less a hobby. Ah, I am so eccentric and quirky, no? Cheers!
Thanks for sharing this Jen and other commenters. I don't know why last week was any different than any other, but I felt so overwhelmed by the end of the week. I just pretty much stepped back and let it take it's course without trying to push ahead unnecessarily. I feel a little better today. Not so overwhelmed.
Recognizing and admitting it to self and or others always works for me. I see you were speaking of comments/emails and RSS feeds. Little do we know how much this can truly affect us if we let it. I tend to comment and subscribe to comments on certain blogs and then unsubscribe in a short while if the comments get too overwhelming and distract me. After a response back from the blog owner or whoever, usually that's enough until I check back w/o being swamped with unnecessary comments. Not to say mine is more important, just that it can get overwhelming if you comment on several blogs. This too I have toned down and made a personal committment to be more aware and not get caught in a debate that is childish.
Before I turn this into a post of it's own, let me just say again, it's nice to know I am not alone. Thanks for the sweet reminders and tips of overcoming.
Lee
lees shizzle´s last blog ..How the Internet is the New American Dream
Heya Ben!
Great to see you. Yep, I'm pretty much all recharged and raring to go!
Learning to say no and prioritizing are gold aren't they? I'm still working on both, especially prioritizing at the moment but they make such a difference when implemented.
Great to hear how you're getting on Ben - you sound like you have found some good ways to manage everything.
Jen
Hey Archan!
ha ha! Great to see you quoting Alex!
I can identify with that - technology is great but does make everything soooo fast!
That doesn't sound arrogant at all - just true.
To be honest I am much more of a hermit these days compared to the past as I try and find that balance. It's flattering to have attention but sometimes we need to listen to what we need too.
I love technology one one hand, but on another sitting down to long staring at a screen just isn't a natural state in my opinion. It's great you have found sports you enjoy so much. Ihave been doing a lot more walking in nature and running recently and have noticed such a difference to my overall wellbeing.
Thanks as always Archan and great to hear your experience.
Jen
Hi Lee
Lovely to see you here. It seems many of us have been feeling like this recently. I have a little theory that maybe the change of seasons to spring is making us all more restless and wanting to move rather than be stuck in front a computer.
Good to hear how you manage comment subscriptions - it is handy to be able to 'switch them off' and I get where you are coming from - it's not that your comment is more important but just that you're waiting for your reply. I do the same.
It's good to hear that it's helped you Lee. I feel the same - it really helps knowing I am not alone as well.
Cheers!
Jen
Ah,,, I think you nailed it for me.. change of seasons....Spring.. gottta love it. Keep it coming that is a HUGE difference maker for me right there Jen!
I forgot how important that is and how it affects me.... what a blessing.. thanks.
lees shizzle´s last blog ..How the Internet is the New American Dream
Jen, this was a very timely post. I am in the process of learning to say no and, of course, I cannot say enough about prioritizing and getting clear on what is important. You are right, it is a process we have to go through over and over again to stay on target and on purpose.
Great and very useful post, thank you!
Lana - {Daring Clarity}´s last blog ..9 Steps To Get You Back On Track When Things Are Messy + Out Of Balance + Out Of Flow
Really nice post Jen
I love yourvtips here for dealing with that feeling of being overwhelmed. The two parts for me are the taking responsibility for what's going on and asking for help.
We are 100% responsible when we become overwhelm because we either take too much on, try to take on too much or simply say yes to every request. Spot what it is that you've done to cause and make the necessary immediate actions to change it.
We all fall down on asking for help or clarity on something that's overwhelming us, I know for a fact I do. But asking for help is liberating. Most of us don't ask for fear of rejection by others but that's very rarely the case. Even if you hear the word no when asking for help you're no worse off then before you ask. You can only gain from asking.
Great to see you smiley and happy again Jen!
Ben´s last blog ..What I’m Going To Do About Being A First-Time Dad
Hey Ben!
I agree. Remembering that we are in control is so powerful and helps get us back in the driver seat. There is always a reason why we get overwhelmed and sussing it out is the key.
I like what you said about asking for help Ben - we are not any worst off if someone says no and in my experience people want to help. We just need to remember - I know it's something i forget!
Hey Lee!
lol! I think spring is definatley having an effect on me! I am like a new flower bud, itching to move and fed up with sitting down!
Jen
Hi Lana
I am glad this post came at the right time for you and was helpful. It is definately an ongoing process for me too.
Jen
Jen - I've been exercising more and more and it's definitely been helping quite a bit. I think it's nice to have some other outlets in our life. Exercise is a wonderful way to re-connect with the body and get rid of some of the stress in our lives. The key is to make sure you're doing something you like. Too many people make out exercise to be a chore...just another thing to do. Instead, view it as play. If you like skiing, then do that. If playing golf is your thing, then do that. It doesn't have to be going to the gym.
Also, it's wonderful to hear that you are prioritizing and focusing on yourself more.
Nate´s last blog ..A Moment for Appreciation
Hey Nate
That's great to hear. The more I exercise the more I realise what a difference it makes. I completely agree about doing something you like, I think that's where a lot of people get stuck as it becomes a chore. Running is my favourite right now and most of the time it is such a joy doing it.
Thanks as always for your support Nate.
Jen
Jen - You nailed it when you said "learn to say no." There's two parts to this. First, learn WHEN to say no. Since time is finite, everything you do means there's something you can't do. You can always put yourself last, but that's a recipe for unhappiness.
Second, learn HOW to say no. If you find the right way to say no, it makes it a whole lot easier. Top executives say no to 90% of ideas, yet never hurt anyone's feelings. It's fascinating to watch their techniques.
Hey TJ!
Great to have you here. Yep, learning to say no has been massive for me! As you said, when and how to say is so important ... I am still finding my way with that, but finding it easier with practice. Overexplaining why you can't do something (for example) usually backfires I find! A confident but friendly no works best for me. It is also good to watch people that are good at it ... like you said some people say no a lot but have found a way to do it in a way that noones feelings are hurt.
Great thoughts TJ - I can feel a further blog post brewing from this conversation!
Jen
This is really a great post, I love the option "make a plan" most especially, you become successful when everything is being planned effectively.
Thanks.
Onibalusi Bamidele´s last blog ..10 Great Blogging Tips For You
Hi Onibalusi
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. I am glad you liked this post. Planning really makes a huge difference. I used to resist it but at the end of the day the results speak for themselves!
Thanks again
Jen
Jen,
If you ask me the most important lesson I have learned in my life...
Well, that's an easy one....simple and yet profound.
And I am contributing this idea only because you are curious about my experiences. Not to push any agenda on you or others, you understand?
One for the money; two for the show; three to get ready; and four to go...
Are you ready? Well, if yes, here is that pearl of wisdom.
Answer this question: Do you feel comfortable spending time alone?
I mean: all by your self, for an extended period of time, maybe long hours, days or even weeks? And without feeling lonesome or lonely?
I always wanted to achieve that state of mind, because I was amazed by monks. Some monks who live in places like Nepal and Tibet practice it.
So do many other people around the world. Try it, if you want.
It was a cool experience for me: a wild, party animal like me, the class clown, the life of the party, and yet I lacked the ability to spend time in solitude and silence. Try it sometime. It is a great experience. At least it has been for me: and I practice it every day.
I had to reach a state when it was okay just to celebrate and be joyful in that state of being--enjoy your splendid isolation. Enjoy your own company, just for a change, without being dependent on friends, family.
Or others. And then, once you feel you have had enough, come out of it.
I think meditation practice has helped me, over the years, discover that state of mind. There is a feeling of inner bliss that is independent of the goodwill of other people and that is also independent of objects, such as money, house, and other possessions.
It is an experiment worth trying, but remember: you can do this even without becoming a hermit and living under a rock or dwelling in a cave.
Just make it a daily practice and take it easy, one step at a time.
It has worked magically for me, although I am a late bloomer. And it took me several years to master it. The benefits are remarkable. Cheers!
Hey Archan
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It is really valuable.
Spending time alone is something I have always enjoyed personally. I don't know about for weeks because I haven't done that before but it doesn't scare me. What I notice more for myself is that I can find it hard to be alone AND not do anything. I can meditate for 10 minutes each day but long periods of time not 'doing' leaves me wanting to reach for a book or the laptop.
It is so great to hear how you have achieved such a state Archan. It is something I am working on as well as generally just trying to 'be' in the present moment.
I get so much when I do meditate ... a peacefulness and calmness that I haven't achieved by other means. I am putting a practice in place to do it every day and really try and be happy with being.
Thanks for your input. I will let you know how the meditation practice is going in a few weeks.
Jen
hi jen,
how are you?
this post was timely considering how the week's turned out for me and it's only thursday lol!!!
in my case it's about prioritizing and i guess this falls under removing the unnecessary tasks. I have also found out delegating responsibilities to others also relieves me a bit and this would come under ask for help.
and finally in between periods, i do a lot of reflection
Do have a love a lovely day.
p.s. i would be sending you an email shortly regarding the next edition of the life skills magazine. I 'd love you to be a part of the next one if you dont mind.
ayo´s last blog ..Personal Development Roadblocks
Hey Ayo
Great that you are asking others for help too.
I look forward to receiving your email.
I am glad my post helped and I hope your week is getting better! ahh, prioritizing ... that one trips me up a lot too!
Have a great day too Ayo.
I would love to be part of the life skills magazine - thank you for asking.
Jen
Jen,
Thanks for sharing the way you deal with overwhelm. Something that I try to apply (Yes, it is easier to recommend it than applying) is to experience Love when feeling overwhelmed.
You can experience only one feeling at the time, so if you feel Love, you will not have room for fear or despair. You will be more compassionate, you will help others, I finally, any overwhelm feeling disappears...
All the best,
Boris
Boris´s last blog ..Be creative, even if you are uncreative per nature!
Hey Boris
I like your suggestion a lot. Very profound and a great tip for any feeling we want to remove.
Thanks Boris!
Jen
Very good point, Jen! I have been feeling sooo achy and sore and needing to stretch and get out and it's still wintry/springy icky/nice here in Boston - I've GOT to get yoga.
I've been overwhelmed by life - gives me very little time for blogging, and I miss talking to y'all and reading up on your thoughts. I'm taking a little time this a.m. and really appreciating everyone's comments.
Jen, great points here about getting over overwhelm. Saying no, taking care of self, and especially the last, knowing it will all work out - I agree wholeheartedly. I love your posts with their practicality and concrete suggestions.
Best,
Linda
Thanks so much Linda. There seems to be something in the air at the moment with people feeling overwhelmed.
It is great to have you around again and I really appreciate your feedback. It is really good to know my suggestions are helpful.
Take care and enjoy the yoga.
Jen
Great list Jen!
The two that rang strong for me is prioritize and learn to say no. I think they both go hand in hand. In order to prioritize you have to say no to some things. The process of prioritizing is letting the things go that should no longer have our first and foremost attention.
These two resonated with me. Thanks for sharing!!
Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey´s last blog ..You Know You’re Favored by God When…
Hey Jarrod!
I agree - prioritizing and saying no are really interlinked and work better when done together I think. Glad this was helpful Jarrod.
Jen
Hi Jen, this is Jeremy Johnson. This is my first comment on your website. I love your insights and enthusiasm. I appreciate you addressing the overwhelm. I think the biggest thing I struggle with is asking for help. I suppose this comes with better planning and leadership. I've also learned there are many on the web here who have tremendous advice to offer, just from asking questions in comments to posts. Thanks Jen for this post.
Jeremy Johnson´s last blog ..The Ant Philosophy
Hey Jeremy!
Welcome to Reach Our Dreams. Lovely to have you here.
I really appreciate your feedback. Yes asking for help is a big one, I find that hard at times too but am getting better with practice.
There are some awesome resources on the web - I love the community and great advice that it offers!
Jen